Employees trolling each other on Slack? Here's some advice that may help.

This article from the New York Times about “How to Keep Internet Trolls Out of Remote Workplaces” reminded me of one of the most frequent frustrations I hear about from leaders who work with me in coaching or consulting: “unprofessionalism” demonstrated by members of their teams. I heard about it a lot pre-pandemic, and wondered if having people move to virtual work would change the stories I heard from managers about bad behavior from Teams Gone Wild. Unfortunately, having people work remotely has not put an end to employee conflict. It’s just moved to online collaboration tools - and apparently gotten as raw as a WWE match, as what feels like Internet-style anonymity allows people to get brave behind their keyboards. (It’s unfortunately easy for people to forget that while they are physically sitting in their home, their keyboard bravery is taking place during work hours, in an employer-owned system, and that makes it a problem on multiple levels.)

Online or in person, “unprofessional behavior” usually evolves when small problematic interactions turn into overt disagreements, and then outright confrontations (and according to the NYT article, Reddit-style flamewars on Slack). After observing their employees “fight like teenagers,” the leader feels like they’re taking crazy pills, as they watch grown, intelligent, qualified adults devolve into petty arguments, microaggressions, and general dysfunction.

Here’s a good example of a conversation I had with a client about his Team Gone Wild:

Him: Ugh, I’m over it! I can’t believe they (insert nutty, ridiculous employee behavior scenario here). Why can’t they grow up? Why can’t they just act like professionals?

Me: What does that mean to you, to “act like a professional”?

Him: Well, you know. They need to be professional! They’re professionals! They should act like it.

Me: But do they even know what that means? More importantly, do they know what you expect from them, in terms of professional behavior?

Him: They should know! They need to be professional! The way professionals are everywhere! I just want an employee who, for once, can act like a professional.

Me: A professional what?

See the problem? We know, as adults working in work environments with other adults, there are certain things we should do and not do, and certain ways we should act. But defining that can be tough. I know no one handed me a “rules for professional behavior in the office” flyer on the first day I ever walked into an office to start working. Many of us learn the subtleties of personal interaction and how to work productively with others through experiences with our families of origin, our friends, and in school situations. But given that each workplace has its own, unique culture, figuring out what works and what doesn’t is harder than it seems. Especially when you consider additional factors, like: not every person grew up in a functional household where personal interactions were productive or healthy; neurocognitive diversity means that not everyone interprets the same facial expressions and vocal tones the same way; many people had negative experiences in school and did not have the same opportunities others did to learn how to work with others cooperatively; what “acceptable behavior” looks like in one environment can be completely norm-violating in another. Etc. “Being professional” is much harder, and more complicated, than it seems on its face.

The solution to this is also easier and harder than it seems. The same way we bring employees in on their first day of work and tell them what they need to do to be successful in their job, we also need to do some explaining of how they should do it. And not just for people who are new to the workforce. Every single employee, in every single situation, should get behavioral expectations and office norms explained to them on day one. Whether this is done through an onboarding presentation, a conversation with a manager, via web-based learning, or whatever mechanism – it’s a critical part of helping employees be successful. But it must be granular – you can’t just say “be respectful.” Explain what “being respectful” means. “We expect our employees to treat each other with respect. This means employees do not interrupt when another employee is speaking; they use polite language and consider the tone of their communications (verbal or written); they do not dismiss, ridicule, or mock other employees,” etc. Whatever “respect” means to you (or in your organization) – be specific. The more specific you are, the less room there is for misunderstanding. And be clear about how people are supposed to use online collaboration tools like Slack or Microsoft Teams! Those are work tools, and if you want to curb personal chat, do so. Make it clear that the same expectations you have for people who are sitting across from each other in a conference room apply online, and be clear about the consequences for unprofessional online behavior.

Back to my client who longed for more professionalism in his team members. The conversation continued and we talked about the importance of setting and communicating behavioral expectations. I helped him codify and document some of his expectations for how he wanted team members to act, and treat each other. My client went back to his team and had individual and group conversations about behavior, communicating clearly his defined (and detailed) expectations for his team. He also had me hold a workshop with the team about team “rules of engagement,” so everyone could be on the same page about the expectations they had for each other. The change wasn’t immediate, but over the next few weeks, he started noticing less friction and better function in his team members. He reported to me that he was having far fewer conversations about behavior and more conversations about how to get work done, which made him happy. His frustration level with his job and his team was about half what it had been previously, which made me happy.

If you’re feeling like your real job as a leader has turned from whatever you got hired to do to mediating employee conflicts (on or offline), it’s time for a reset on expectations. The clearer you are, the less time you’ll have to spend being an unsung moderator of snarky online discussions. (If you’re doing that and you love it, Reddit always has communities looking for volunteers.)